Hold yer breath it’s starting to stink like Corey in a dumpster

24Feb08

Sheeez.

That’s what I have to say. If I was a ‘pimp’in’ dude like that skinny ass rapper Snoop Dogg then I’d probably say something clever like “foshnizzle stix” but alas I’m not that cool, nor do I ever dream or pretend to be.

So this morning I was puking my guts out because I drank to much with my breakfast, BEEReal isn’t always the best choice, but considering that’s all I had in the fridge this AM to quench libation it really was the only choice. Once my stomach was done and the wretching and heaving had come undone I parked my ass down to surf the magic of the Internet.

It’s true that at 9AM I’m usually surfing for large breasts and pearl necklaces, but this morning it had been a while since I’d added to the Corey Haim Armaggeddon watch, so I thought I’d help us all out with a touch of research.

Googling “Corey Haim Lost Boys 2” pretty much did me in and I returned to the bathroom to continue where I’d left off only 20 minutes earlier. So…

Sheeez. or foshnizzle stix!

Either way we’re in for a long 2008. Corey Haim is back again proving that you can’t just give a zombie an axe and expect it to cut its own head off. You’ve got to go after it yourself. Fucking guy.

According to /film Corey Haim’s finally joined LB2: The Tribe, and he’s pushing it as hard as he can. The studio’s filming scene’s from the original script that included Haim’s wonderkind character Sam Emerson. Proving that you can’t keep the 2 corey’s apart for very long afterall.

http://www.slashfilm.com/2008/02/08/corey-haim-joins-lost-boys-2/

Of course if you’re like me and you want our blogalistic integrity to be without question then you just don’t rely on a bunch of film geeks with a web site called /film. Instead you surf around to see if everyone’s reporting the same lies:

The fine assholes at shocktilyoudrop.com :

http://www.shocktillyoudrop.com/news/topnews.php?id=4676

The bloody disgusting guys at bloodydisgusting.com:

http://www.bloody-disgusting.com/news/11129

Seems that he’s got yet another shot at reviving his “oh so dead” career. He can’t do shit without Feldog…

Who incidently confirmed on his Blog “Confessions of a Human Vagina” that he and Haim are actually running off to shoot The Two Coreys Season 2. Fuck me.

Does the bad news ever end? All we need now is for the Universal Groove guys to get their schtick together this year, hit major distribution and then it’ll be the big bang all over again.

Ah Corey my boy, you may have had it hard, but when the Priory of Scion finds out what you’re doing the assassins will come for you. Believe you me…they’ll come.

Now where’s my Guinness?

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